About me

I am of mixed Eastern European origin and grew up in Kazakstan under the communist regime. USSR collapsed in 1991 and seemingly unshakeable ideological foundation crumbled overnight, replaced by economic and political chaos. That’s how I learned my first biggest lessons: EVERYTHING eventually changes and don’t believe what you told, even if it comes from the highest authorities.

I was very lonely and depressed in my younger years. This unhappiness drove me to look for a solution in psychology, philosophy, and spirituality. I started meditating at the age of 19 and over the years tried many different techniques. Immigrated to Australia in 1997 where completed Ph.D., found a great job, married, divorced, got bored, found another great job in Canada, and so on.

I had full interesting life and many great experiences, yet, there was this longing for something bigger, for something REAL. Finally, this pressure from inside became so great so I have lost all interest in my career, relationships, and pretty much everything except finding the solution for this longing. In 2008, I left it all for a full-time spiritual search.

I’ve spent a year in Zen monasteries and meditation centers in North America and Japan and then two more years primarily in solitude in Thailand and Malaysia. I had several great teachers who influenced me greatly, but the most useful and profound was teaching of Adyashanti, with whom, paradoxically, I’ve never met in person. My first spiritual awakening came in 2010 while meditating on koan “Mu” in Zen Center of Los Angeles under the guidance of Roshi Egyoku.  It was a great relief and absolutely changed everything in my life.

It’s been unfolding and deepening since. My perception changes, my conceptual understanding changes, things come and go, but the sense of eternity and peace, unlimited space underlying everything has never left me since.

Now it is my joy to share, to express what comes through me, to continue questioning and exploring the mystery of consciousness and existence. For the last 7 years, I’ve been living semi-nomadic life, traveling, meditating, volunteering and working in different countries.

I welcome any questions, comments and happy to meet serious spiritual seekers or organize spontaneous Satsangs anywhere I go.

nellikite@gmail.com

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